Go Spin Circles For Me
by ItKeepsHappeningWhy
Summary: Lying there,with a halo in her hair she cried, "There are feathers everywhere!" But it's fine. You do this all the time. Crying now, through a rusted smile she knows, this isn't how he paid the bills before, drug farm entrepreneur.
1. Chapter 1

"There are feathers everywhere."

"It's fine."

"We do this all the time."

The man turned his face to his girlfriend, and lazily raised a brow. "And?"

"I'm getting goddamn sick of it, Karkat."

"Sick of what? Me?"

"No, the fact that every time we get _progress _in this relationship, it deteriorates into a fight and even quicker into hate sex." The girl rolled herself halfway on top of him. "Sick of it." She repeated, pecking his cheek.

Dragging himself up to an elbow, he sighed and closed his eyes, willing the ache that was settling down in his temples away. "Don't you have class?" He muttered, cracking an eye open to look at her.

"Shit." The red-haired girl was up in a second, slamming drawers open and shut, uprooting clothes from the deepest piles in their closet, and tugging on something without knowing what it was, or really caring.

"Love you." She called over her shoulder as she hurried to the door.

"Glasses."

"Fuck. Where are they…?"

Getting up, he grabbed her bright red pair off the end table and handed it to her (still naked, might I add), kissing the end of her nose and waving her off into the hallway of their crap-ass apartment complex.

The man's name was Karkat Vantas.

His life was shitty.

His "job" was shitty.

He felt shitty.

Her name was Terezi Pyrope.

And, with her boyfriend, she felt she could see pretty goddamn well for a blind person.

"Gamzee…God, calm down. Yeah, I got some new shit…fuck, I don't care. Uh…three. I guess."

Karkat hung up the phone and resumed staring at the ceiling.

"Lovely piss-yellow color." He remarked to himself, still inwardly battling whether to get up or not. He would have to, and soon, though, on the account that Gamzee would be there in thirty minutes for drugs. Over the phone, he had sounded pissed, tired, and anxious- his boyfriend had probably tried to get him to go cold-turkey again.

Karkat swore the day that happened, Hell would freeze over.

Stomach growling, the black haired boy rolled over onto his stomach and inched off the bed slowly and reluctantly. After his feet collided with the floor, he grumbled a minute to himself before getting up and tugging his pants on (grumpily), reaching into the closet and pulling on the first shirt he touched (grumpily), and walking into the kitchen for a sandwich (grumpily).

Heaven knows how one person could hold that much discontent, but alas, Karkat Vantas managed it.

The door slammed open.

"C'mon, motherfucker, show me what you got!" The tall, lanky man yelled, not caring about the neighbors, or anything, really, other than the fact that his dealer had "new, you got to try this" shit.

"You're ten minutes early."

"Hell if I care. You want my money?"

Karkat pushed his untouched lunch away and stood, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling he had become familiar with over the past few hours, and slinked into the bathroom and over to his shower, reaching for one of the empty shampoo bottles out of many, unscrewing the cap and upturning the bottle. Another bottle (of the pill variety) fell out into his hand, and he noted that he needed to remember to get a better hiding place.

As he did every time.

"Here." He offered the bottle to his friend- using that term loosely- and eyed the crumpled-up rolls of money in his hand.

"What's it called?"

"Slime."

"Original. Damage?"

"If you OD, it does freaky shit to your brain, but that's about it." _So far. _He thought to himself. It was a fairly new drug, and the side effects hadn't really been determined yet.

"Nice." Gamzee Makara shoved the piled of money towards Karkat, grin relaxing back into its usual self, instead of the stretched-thin one it had been moments before. Once the bottle was secured in his hand, he was out the door with a, "Bye, best friend!" Floating after him.

"Fuck you." Karkat yelled behind him, turning back to his unfinished sandwich.

"Well, fuck you too." The voice from the doorway startled him.

"Terezi?"

"Karkat?" She mocked, throwing her bag down and glaring at him.

"What?"

"You told me you'd cut it out."

He didn't play naïve anymore- because she was right. Empty promises had been made, regrets had been tucked away, and arguments had been had over this subject.

"Well, sorry I don't want to live in a cardboard box."

"This isn't how we paid the bills before." She stepped in farther and shut the door behind her.

Hastily scrambling to avoid the subject, he back tracked. "Were you spying on me?"

"Dear, some call it 'accidently hearing a conversation they shouldn't'. If that's what you mean, fuck yeah, I was spying on you being the regular ole' drug farm entrepreneur."

He ran a hand through his hair. "You want to keep going to law school, right?"

Her lips flattened into a thin line. "Yes." She ground out in between her teeth.

"Keep in mind, I pay the tuition."

"Fuck you, Karkat! That's a low blow, and you know it!"

"Well, fuckass, maybe if you got a job…"

"Is _everything _about money to you?"

"Well, honey, sorry if that doesn't float your boat."

"God, Karkat! I should…I don't have to put up with this shit!"

"If you're going, then go!" He yelled, stepping closer to her.

"Maybe I will!" She shouted, her fists clenching tightly at her sides.

And suddenly they were too close, much too close together, and his mouth was on hers. It was like they both had forgotten how to breath and the other person was oxygen, and it felt so good and clean and they loved each other and-

Suddenly, it wasn't like that. There were teeth, nails, and pressure, anger gluing them together so hard, neither thought they could pull away, even if they wanted to.

But neither wanted to.

Clothes were torn.

Shoes were kicked.

And curses were exchanged.

Later, when they were lying in bed, Terezi brushed her hand across a deep scratch mark on Karkat's back as her face deflated slowly.

"We did it again."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."


	2. Chapter 2

"Where you goin'?" A tired Karkat barely lifted his head off the bed to stare at Terezi as she lifted her backpack over her shoulder, two other bags perched on her arm as she struggled to open the door quietly.

"Nepeta's. I need a couple days to think, Karkat."

"What?" He was suddenly very awake, and very, very afraid. "What do you mean?"

"What does it sound like I mean?"

"You can't just…leave."

"Watch me." She said, harsher than she intended. Softening her voice, she started to close the door behind her, but not before stopping to mutter, "I'll be back in a couple of days."

"Days?" His voice broke. _It's not the end of the world. _One side of him was insisting.

_Yes fuck if she leaves she might not come back someone better fuck don't go. _The other side, however, was freaking the fuck out.

"Bye, Karkat."

"Wait-" She was already gone.

He considered breaking down, but instead reached for his phone on the nightstand.

"Sollux?"

"Fuck, KK, it'th four in the morning…"

"Can you meet me for breakfast?"

Sollux's end of the line was quiet for a few heartbeats, and then a sigh was heard. "Now?"

"Yes, now."

"Fine, then. IHOP, I'll pay."

"You're a saint, Captor."

"It'th a hard life to lead." Sollux agreed wearily.

Karkat hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, he was seated in a booth, face down on the table, wearing his shoes on the wrong feet and in pajama pants, feeling pathetic and stupid.

"KK?"

"Sollux, thank God."

"What happened?"

"Terezi left."

"Oh…uh…" Reaching up to nervously fix his mismatched glasses, his slid into the booth across from his friend, bracing himself for the hours to come. "And I repeat: what happened?"

"Terezi doesn't approve of my line of business."

"Karkat, none of uth do."

"Well, none of you flip your shit about it! Anyway, as I was saying, we had a giant fight and then there was sex-"

"Ithn't there alwayth?" Sollux muttered under his breath.

"Shut up, Tholluckth. And she had already told me she was tired of it, so she left and now she's staying at Nepeta's for a while to think things through."

"Did she say how long she'd be gone?"

"Yeah, a couple days."

"Thit."

"I know."

A tired-looking waitress came up and took their orders.

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Offer me your wisdom."

"Give her the time the wanth."

"That's shitty wisdom."

"Thorry I'm not a relationthip guru."

"Oh, fuck you."

"KK, she loveth you and you love her. You jutht need to learn how to thtop treating each other like trath."

"Well, what if we fucking can't? What if we're both so fucked up it's the only way we know how to handle our emotions? I don't want to be in a relationship like that. I just…God, right here, it's easy to rationalize how I feel but…she…makes me stop thinking straight."

"I know the feeling. Look, KK, jutht give her a couple dayth and clean up your act. I'm not saying thtop dealing, jutht…try to take it low and get a reathonable job, okay?"

"Where?"

"Fucking McDonald'th if you have to."

"Captor, I'm not working at a fast-food joint."

The waitress returned with their food.

"Well, it'd be one latht thing for you two to fight over, for God'th thake."

"We'd find other things."

"Pethimitht."

"What?"

"Peth…peth…fuck, you know what I'm thaying."

"Not quite thure I do, Tholluckth."

"Thtop it." Sollux said, his lisp worsening as his anger increased.

"Thtop it." Karkat mocked.

"I'm trying to help you, KK!"

"Well, you're still doing a shitty job."

"Fuck you!" Sollux yelled, but then looked around and slumped against his seat, refusing to look back up at Karkat.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm just angry. Are we…?"

"Still friendth? Thure."

Karkat breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry." He meekly repeated, turning back to his eggs.

They ate in silence for a while. "So…" Karkat finally implored. "How're you and Fef doing?"

"You don't know?" Sollux looked up at his friend.

"Know what?"

"Feferi cheated on me with thome hipthter douche."

"Aw, fuck, why didn't you say anything?"

"When it comes to romantic trouble, KK, I'm not ath vocal ath you. You know that."

More awkward silence.

"God, I'm screwing shit up everywhere."

"It'll be fine, Karkat."

"No, it won't! What if she finds someone better! Someone who she deserves and God, I pretty much bit your head off and I didn't know your girlfriend had cheated and- and…"

"You're acting like a whiny bitch, Karkat, and we both know you aren't one."

"Shut up."

"Happy to."

Sollux flagged down the waitress and paid the check.

"Look, my advithe thtill thtands. It'll look better, you'll thee."

"Thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome."

Sollux left.

Sighing, Karkat also pushed out of the booth.

He believed Sollux meant well, but…he didn't feel much better.

About anything.

* * *

><p>Barnes &amp; Nobles.<p>

He supposed it was better than McDonald's, considering he actually got the job, but something still seemed off. He felt like a reprimanded child taking on his punishment.

Considering all things, he might as well have been.

Sighing, he scribbled in the last answer on the application- how would you be an asset to the company? The usual bullshit was recorded; I'm a hard worker, I'm dedicated, I'm responsible. That last one really made me want to laugh.

Responsible, really. In fact, they all were pretty ironic, if you thought about the life he was leading now. Karkat was a drug dealer in a crap-ass apartment with a girlfriend who didn't even want to stick around.

"Whiny-ass bitch." He muttered to himself, echoing Sollux's earlier words. But, fuck him, he couldn't _help _it. He wanted to act like a spoiled kid who didn't get his way.

But no.

He couldn't. Life had taken a piss on him before; he just had to roll with the punches.

He just had to figure out a way to make things alright again.

* * *

><p>AN: Half-shitty fillerhalf important for the plot. Like a boss. Thanks for reading, guys! More to come.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, God."

That's all a certain seventeen-year-old Karkat Vantas could choke out as he stared at the girl in the hospital bed, lying there with bandages over her eyes stained with God-awful red and all he can think is that it's her favorite color that she actually may never see again-

Sollux's hand on his shoulder, frankly, was the only thing keeping him from flying into a million pieces all over the floor.

Vriska Serket.

Goddamned Vriska Serket.

In retrospect, everyone should have seen it coming. Number one, she was batshit insane, and it was only a matter of time before someone got hurt. That "someone" happened to be a Tavros Nitram- she threw him off the roof of the school in a fit of fucking insanity. Her reasoning was if she couldn't have him, why should anyone?

Terezi had tried to stop her, which was evident by the scratches and holes in her skin from where the gravel had gotten removed from the skin.

That sure did a lot- now, not only was Tavros paralyzed from the waist down, but the doctors said Terezi most likely wouldn't see again. Spiderbitch had shoved her face against the gravel roof hard enough to nearly fracture her skull and managed to catch her with her eyes open. One-way ticket to Fuck, Gravel in my Eye Socket City. Literally- they had to surgically remove the pieces stuck deep back in the sockets. There was really no chance her eyes could heal, the doctors knew, so they did the best they could. Fuck, they all were doing the best they could.

"You're rambling." Sollux muttered, and Karkat realized that he had just said that all aloud.

A screaming Gamzee interrupted his train of thought for a moment. Karkat turned his head and watched the other boy kicking his feet and clawing at the guard pulling him away.

"I'll fucking kill her! …let…see…him…go…" Words floated down the hallway and filtered themselves through his head, and he dimly wondered why the fuck Gamzee Stoned Makara would care about Tavros or Terezi.

"Dunno, KK, he'th pretty clothe to Tavroth."

"Did I just say that all aloud again?"

"Yeth."

"Right. Sorry."

And that's when he started crying.

Sollux turned him around and Karkat vaguely wondered if his friend would mind the ruined shirt.

A couple weeks later, Terezi was discharged.

A month after that, so was Tavros.

And a day after that when Vriska was found dead, no one even thought of Gamzee Makara.

Except for Karkat.

* * *

><p>"Holy shi-"<p>

Karkat sat up in the bed he had been occupying ever since "breakfast" with Sollux, unable to remember quite what he dreamt about, but felt suddenly afraid of the suffocating darkness in his room.

"Fuck…" He blearily checked the time on the clock next to his bed- twelve o' clock.

He sat there.

And sat there.

Why did he have nothing to do?

And with that came the realization he was the stay-at-home wife. Chuckling a bit to himself, the irrational fear of the dark corners of his bedroom where clowns and spiders might lurk-

"Kanaya!"

He bolted up, Sollux's advice pushed out of his head. Kanaya would know what to do, right? At least, she had been the second person he had gone to in the past when things went to shit, after Sollux. And it appeared Sollux wouldn't be any help this time.

"Speak." Her voice soothed him; the way she spoke was clear and precise, as if she knew exactly what she was doing. And Karkat knew he needed someone who knew what they were doing.

"Kanaya."

"Karkat?"

"Kanaya, where are you?"

"Starbucks."

"_Who's that?" _A voice filtered in from the chatter of background noise in Kanaya's phone.

"Kanaya, I need relationship help."

"Oh, dear. I thought we said we wouldn't try that again?"

"Try what?"

"The whole thing where you and Terezi hit a bump and you freak out worse than a menstrual woman-"

"Kanaya, now isn't the time! This isn't a fucking joke, not a bump, just…God."

"What?" She murmured, sarcasm draining from her tone.

"Well, fuck, I don't know, maybe it's the fact she left me and I don't know what to do and I just need advice on how to 'change' or whatever the fuck she wants." He trailed off. "So, yeah." Karkat grumbled, unsure of how exactly to finish a gigantic run-on sentence like that.

"Karkat, Nepeta told me all about it."

"Wha-"

"One, get a job that will actually support you and your girlfriend of five years."

"Aw, fuck you, Sollux already unloaded that on me."

Kanaya continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"And two, actually communicate."

"We 'communicate' far too fucking much!"

"No, you yell at her and get surprised when she bites back."

Karkat fell silent.

"Look, I'll be there for you- _Rose, please, a moment- _and so will Sollux. Mostly, it will be me, since Sollux shies away from the basic principle of human contact."

"Thanks. I guess."

"And one more thing."

"What?"

"Watch your language."

He disconnected the call and spent his time staring at the goddamn ceiling until his eyes closed and he couldn't stay awake anymore.

* * *

><p>Six years in the past, Gamzee Makara was having some problems.<p>

And not just any regular problems, like running out of Faygo, or stubbing his toe on the corner in his hallway, or Dad forgetting to come back home for dinner (or at all). No, this was serious.

He hadn't seen Tavros smile in- shit- two months? And that wasn't good.

No, what also wasn't good was the lack of weed. He coulda sworn he had just gotten some…no, wait, he was at the hospital. Or was he? The fact was that he was starting to get edgy.

At least, more so than he already was.

And he started seeing these things, bloody things about revenge and an eye for an eye and god he just wished everything in his brain would just stop.

So he stared at the prone Tavros in the shiny, new wheelchair and thought , _Maybe there's a way it'll stop. _And that's how he convinced himself to do it.

How he found Vriska Serket in the city, shoved her in his car, drove where no one would find her (like anyone cared),

And cut off her head.

Her body disappeared into the river. By the time it was found, it had been gnawed on quite a bit, dashed against a couple of rocks, and most certainly waterlogged. But it was Vriska Serket, that was for sure.

He thought there would be no funeral, just a bad guy dying and the good guys riding off into the sunset, la-tee-dah, except Tavros didn't smile after that, either, and he was wrong.

He was so wrong- no one would mourn the wicked? Maybe the wicked's friends. Standing beside the grave a week later, Kanaya Maryam sure as hell had a lot to mourn.

* * *

><p><strong>Ah<strong>

**Fuck.**

**How did I come to deserve you guys? All of you, seriously. Every single each one of you viewers, anonymous, reviewers, and silent creepers should feel goddamned proud of themselves because you just made me the happiest person in the world! Spiel over, sorry this chapter was filled with a ton of backstory, I'm trying to structure it the best I can. It's like a Jenga tower.**

**It's late(ish).**

**I'm not making any sense.**

**feelingskafl;fjklsfjakf**

**Okay, bye.**


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